Why do people need to “come out”? Isn’t sexuality a private matter?

Just for a moment, let’s consider the ways that heterosexual people “come out” about their orientation without feeling that they’re sharing private information. For example,

  • they talk about their spouse or special friend,
  • they hold hands and embrace in public,
  • they carry photos into their workplace.

These activities express sexuality and yet are taken for granted as normal and acceptable.

Constantly monitoring oneself to withhold all those signals requires a lot of work, and is what happens when a person feels that it’s not safe to come out.

Social relations are so much richer when people are free to be fully themselves.


Excerpted from And God Loves Each One.

Contributed by Ann Thompson Cook

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